We all know the importance of socializing – it’s what keeps us sane, happy, and frankly, alive.
Humans are naturally social creatures and we thrive on connection. Our entire civilization was built through interacting with each other. It’s in our biology to interact with one another, and that’s probably why the “act of procreation” is so enjoyable. Of course, some are more social than others… but even introverts like sex.
Whether you are introverted or extroverted, a social life is deeply important for mental health and has a profound impact on cognition. However, good things are only relative to their quality and quantity. Yes, I’m here to tell you that even extroverts need to shut up once in a while.
We are so quick to overlook the value of being alone – which, despite thesaurus.com’s definition, is not synonymous with loneliness. Small periods of intentional solitude serve incredible benefits for the mind and body, and should be treated seriously. Connecting with others is important, but so is connecting with yourself.
In this article I want to highlight five key benefits of intentional solitude. When effectively regulated, they should complement your social life and even amplify your experience when interacting with others.
1) Self-Awareness
How many times per day, month, or year, do you actively evaluate your life?
It sounds obvious, but common knowledge isn’t always common practice. Here’s the thing: spending time alone is, more or less, the only way to figure out who you are. By creating an environment of solitude, you are creating a place that allows you to reflect and introspect.
The funny thing about self-awareness is that it is based on your own perception. If you always think you know exactly who you are, you will never seek out new information about yourself. This mentality hinders personal growth.
2) Increases Productivity
When done with intention, solitude can stimulate deep states of creativity and productivity.
Some of history’s most creative minds, including Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Stanley Kubrick, Henry David Thoreau, and Friedrich Nietzsche were all known for working almost entirely alone.
Nikola Tesla, who is arguably the greatest inventor of history, once said
“Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born. The mind is sharper and keener in seclusion and uninterrupted solitude. Originality thrives in seclusion free of outside influences beating upon us to cripple the creative mind.” – Nikola Tesla
Coined by Cal Newport, Deep Work is the concept of working alone and without distraction to complete cognitively demanding tasks. It is similar to psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi’s “Flow State”, which signifies a state of complete immersion, energized focus, and enjoyment in an activity.
Whether we call it deep work, the flow state, or just plain old focus, quality periods of solitude are the most effective way to get work done.
3) Builds Mental Strength
When you are comfortable being alone for extended periods of time, you can cultivate an air of resilience and drive.
When you are alone, nobody else is moving or pushing you in their direction. You are not subject to anyone else’s energy except your own. Of course, this also means you are more vulnerable, but it is through vulnerability that you build mental strength.
“The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war” Norman Schwarzkopf
In stoic philosophy, it is important to become comfortable with the uncomfortable so you can build a high tolerance to pain. Practicing regular periods of intentional solitude will help adapt you to times when your solitude will be unintentional.
Some good activities to practice in solitude include:
- Meditation
- Journaling
- Exercise
- Nature Walks
- Playing an instrument
- Drawing
4) Replenishes Your Energy
Solitude is not just about resting – it’s about grounding. When you are grounded you feel less of a need to blow with the winds of social influence. You care less of what people think of you, and your energy is better protected because you are aware of it.
Protecting your social energy helps cultivate it for future experiences. It is similar to a sleep bank – if you are constantly expending your social dollars, you do not leave much room for your bank account to grow. This will deplete your energy over time.
Here’s a thought: small periods of solitude will actually increase your bank of social energy. By retreating inwards every once in a while, you may come to appreciate your social life even more.
5) Regain Control
If you are what you eat, then your environment is your diet. And the best way to manage your environment is to create it yourself.
When you practice solitude, you are creating an environment that is not influenced by the energies of others. Creating positive environments during intentional periods of solitude will help gauge your level of happiness, and you can control your outlook on life much more effectively.
“What surrounds us is within us” – T.F. Hodge
By controlling your environment, you are also controlling your own energy. It’s important to understand that you become the energy you surround yourself with. And in solitude, you can become whatever energy you wish.