To be strong in the face of adversity, to bear great pain without any outward expression of it, and to become comfortable with all things uncomfortable. No, this is not your therapist talking – this is Stoicism.

 

What is Stoicism?

 

Some would reckon it was the world’s first known system of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Others would allude to its Greco-Roman school of thought, based on four pillars of virtue: wisdom, morality, courage, and moderation.

In truth, Stoicism is both an established set of behaviors combined with a rigorous set of principles. It is a way of life.

 

Founded in Athens by Zeno of Citium in 300 B.C., Stoicism was deeply influenced by Socratic and Cynic philosophies. The actual word Stoicism derives from “Stoa Poikile”, which refers to the ancient Agora of Athens. This is where its earliest philosophers, like Chrysippus (d. 206 BC) and Cleanthes (d. 232 BC), would gather to teach and discuss the ethics and values that would eventually lay the foundation for Stoicism as we know it today.

 

Yet it was not until a few centuries later where it’s most famous predecessors emerged, being: Seneca (4 B.C. – 65 A.D.), Epictetus (55 A.D. – 135 A.D), and Marcus Aurelius (119 A.D – 180 A.D.). Though these three were neither the pioneers of Stoicism nor the most beloved philosophers of their age, their works were the ones that stood the test of time. For this they are considered the fathers of Stoicism, and are the three who I will focus on for the sake of this article.

 

Other famous practitioners include Augustine, Rene Descartes, Immanuel Kant, George Washington, and some more recent celebrities like J.K. Rowling and Keanu Reeves.

 

There are few central teachings in Stoicism, and none of them pursue happiness as a good or virtuous ideal. For the Stoic, happiness is not something to strive for – it is a byproduct of being. It is in this avoidance of the pleasure pursuit that makes it all the more easier to attract pleasurable things.

 

Here are six fundamental ways to integrate happiness into your life, as used by the Stoics.

1. Live in the Present

“Were you to live three thousand years, or even thirty thousand, remember that the sole life which a man can lose is that which he is living at the moment…he can have no other life than the one he loses. For the passing minute is every man’s equal possession, but what has once gone by is not ours.” — Marcus Aurelius.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing.” — Seneca.

 

To live in the present is not merely living in absence of the past or the future – it is the appreciation of life itself. As emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius was well aware that his life was at stake every single day. Only by living in the present was he able to become comfortable with war and death.

 

 

 2. Happiness comes from within

“A man thus grounded must, whether he wills or not, necessarily be attended by constant cheerfulness and a joy that is deep and issues from deep within, since he finds delight in his own resources, and desires no joys greater than his inner joys.” – Seneca

“It is not the man who has too little that is poor, but the one who hankers after more.” – Seneca

 

The contrast of stoicism compared to modern ideals is that happiness is not placed on a pedestal. It is not something that is actively searched for, and it definitely cannot be found outside of one’s self.

 

Seneca was one of the richest men in Rome, yet he would actively condition himself to live in poverty and dress like his slaves. He knew that he could lose all of his wealth tomorrow, so he never depended his own worth upon it.

 

3. Do not try and change what is out of your control

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” – Marcus Aurelius

“What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but the way in which we think about them. It is not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance.” – Epictetus

 

Marcus Aurelius talks plenty of the soul in his Meditations. He mentions that anything that touches the soul – internal stimulations like emotions and fears – have the capacity to be influenced and altered for the better. Anything that does not touch the soul – external situations, like people or events – cannot be changed and therefore should not be focused on.

 

It is in our human nature to long for life to go our way. Not only is this impossible, but it is folly. Sometimes the road that takes us astray ends up leading to a destination far greater than we ever could have anticipated. We have not a clue what really is good for us.

 

 

4. Anxiety is nothing more than imagination

“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.” — Marcus Aurelius.

“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems.” –Epictetus

“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” – Seneca

 

The Stoics understood that the human mind is conditioned to judgement. Whenever we encounter a situation that makes us unhappy, we label it as unhappiness and therefore we indulge in a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

We become unhappy because we told ourselves that we should react unhappily. But if only we were to realize the irrationality behind pain and sorrow, we would not care to cast false judgements upon them.

 

 

5. Know where you are going

“If a person doesn’t know to which port they sail, no wind is favorable.” — Seneca. 

“Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant.” – Seneca

 

In 64 A.D., Seneca was forced to commit suicide by order of Emperor Nero, figuring that he plotted against him in the Pisonian conspiracy.

 

But just like his role model Socrates (who was also forced to commit suicide), he did not try to prove his palpable innocence. Seneca accepted his fate, and left the world in typical stoic fashion – calmly, courageously, and heroically. This did not obliterate Stoicism as Nero had hoped – it only inspired others like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius to flourish.

6. Do not wish for no pain; wish for the strength to endure it

“Does what’s happened keep you from acting with justice, generosity, self-control, sanity, prudence, honesty, humility, straightforwardness, and all other qualities that allow a person’s nature to fulfill itself? So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.” — Marcus Aurelius.

 

Stoicism takes the approach of indifference when it comes to dealing with pain and sorrow, for it is not the pain itself that hurts but rather the longing for pleasure that does. The stoics would use negative conceptualization to help practice this:

 

• As a child, Epictetus was tortured and held in solitary confinement by his slave master. When he was freed, he continued to deliberately put himself in painful situations every single day. This helped him to become comfortable with hardship and helped regulate his emotions.
• Marcus Aurelius would imagine his children dying after kissing them goodnight.

 

Though these are extreme examples, there is some rationality behind them. By acknowledging what could go wrong, it helps to prepare you for what kind of hell awaits your eventual fate. 

 

You can practice this yourself by doing cold showers in the morning or sleeping on the hardwood floor. Tim Ferris notes that he will sometimes lie down in the middle of a café or a busy sidewalk to increase his confidence. Norman Schwarzkopf puts it well:

 

“The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war”

 

Pain is an inevitable facet of life, and avoiding it only makes it worse. You might as well become comfortable with it so you can learn how to live with it and integrate it into your life.