I used to think that the meaning of life was to be happy.
Only when I can achieve that ultimate state of nirvana – where all pain and suffering is completely eradicated – I could deem my life successful.
I was wrong. And naïve.
“All attachment leads to suffering” – Buddha
The Illusion Of Happiness
Happiness is an illusion.
Sometimes, the things we believe will make us happy actually make our lives more miserable.
Other times, it is our failures and disappointments that lead us to something greater.
Happiness is fleeting, coming and going with the ups and downs of life. Why should we resist this natural flow?
“People will do more to avoid pain than they will to gain pleasure” – Tony Robbins
When we look at happiness neurologically, it’s nothing more than a dance between serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin.
So if the meaning of life is to be happy, and happiness is based on raising these neurotransmitters… shouldn’t we all just take anti-depressants?
Much like the numbing of reality that anti-depressants bring, happiness numbs us from our emotional blind spots.
When we put happiness on a pedestal, we subconsciously iterate the idea that we are not worthy of it, and act in ways that reinforce this.
It’s easy to think that an ideal world is one of collective peace, joy, and harmony. But if that were the case, we would have no reason to innovate. We would have no reason to improve as a society or grow as individuals.
We need pain.
Strive For Meaning
“Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product” – Eleanor Roosevelt
We are so focused on striving for happiness that in the process of avoiding pain, we lose the gifts that pain brings up: strength, courage, and wisdom.
Happiness is like a drug – an insatiable pursuit. The more you have, the more you desire, and the greater extents you will go to obtain it.
But eventually the high wears off. And the higher you go, the further you fall. The irony is that happiness only exists in relation to its sorrow – we cannot have one without the other.
When we look at the scope of well being, happiness is merely a branch to the root. Of course, we all want to be happy… but we all know that happiness does not last forever. Purpose does.
Living a life of purpose and intention gives us a reason to live. It is a motivation to get up every single morning and commit yourself to the day, no matter the strains and stressors it brings.
“He who has a why can bear almost any how” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Purpose treats happiness as a symptom, not a goal. Purpose is utility; it gives us the opportunity to learn, grow, and take advantage of our suffering. It is – in my eyes – the only true way to sustain wellbeing.
If you want to give yourself the best possible odds for wellbeing, treat happiness as a symptom of committing yourself to something greater. Don’t put happiness on a pedestal – it teaches us very little in comparison to suffering.
Strive for living a life of meaning, and happiness will become a by-product.