For most, meditation is stressful.
It’s the age-old conundrum. For an activity that is supposed to relieve stress, meditation can actually bring upon more of it.
It’s not as easy as those self-proclaimed Zen Masters make it out to be. I have not experienced any signs of levitation, feelings of “eternal bliss”, or have even the slightest urge to float through the wind like a butterfly.
And yet when I search online for any help, they all say the same thing: just sit still, relax, breathe in and out slowly, and subscribe to my channel.
Maybe it’s just me. But when I try to sit still – even for 23 seconds – I have the entire Chicago Symphony Orchestra running through my mind. My thoughts are loud, and they stop for no one – not even when I ask them nicely.
I was very much like this when I first started. But when I learned this trick, it changed the way I looked at meditation forever.
*Note: If you already live a happy and fulfilled life, and you do not feel you need to improve any aspect of yourself, then this is not the article for you.
If however there is something in your life that you wish you could take control over, such as your mental wellbeing, relationships, or life purpose, then I urge you to continue reading.
Erase All Expectations
When done properly, meditation will improve your life in virtually every domain you exist in. Of course we all know this, but the learning gap is simply too high to master for anyone not living in a Tibetan monastery.
Or… is it?
Let me ask you: what does meditation mean to you?
Is it the disappearance of anxiety, a state of pure joy, or the absence of thought altogether?
Many believe that meditation is supposed to be held to some quintessential standard of peace and happiness. Therefore if you do not feel good when you are practicing, you are simply unable to meditate. Makes sense, right?
Wrong. The reason you believe you cannot meditate is because you are presupposing you already know what meditation feels like.
“If you can’t meditate for 5 minutes, meditate for an hour” – Zen Proverb
Though meditation can certainly access you to exemplary states of consciousness, it is a skill that must be consistently practiced over time. And as such, this takes discipline and patience.
People will say, “Oh gosh no, I can’t meditate. I even tried it for a week straight… and nothing happened.”
Well if you are looking for a shortcut to “connect with the divine,” you should just ask your local gentleman in the trench coat for some magic mushrooms. Otherwise, erase all expectations you have of meditation.
Be kind to yourself – meditate for the sake of meditating.
The Barriers To Entry
The barriers to entry when learning meditation have nothing to do with your genetic or environmental predispositions. If you can breathe, you can meditate.
What stops people from learning this invaluable skill is the initial discomfort and tension they first experience. It starts off as boredom, then transitions to impatience, followed by an elevated heart rate, and closes with an aggressive walk-out-the-door.
But consider this: what if the discomfort you are feeling is exactly what you are supposed to feel?
This discomfort is the entire reason why you must continue meditating. You are shedding off decades worth of harboured insecurity, fear, and anxiety out of your body that would have otherwise been masked. Naturally, you won’t be doing any summersaults.
“The first part in creating a new personal reality, is overcoming your present personality” – Dr. Joe Dispenza
Meditation is not an inherently difficult activity. What makes it difficult, however, is your perception of how you believe it is supposed to go.
If I guaranteed that you could learn meditation in 3 weeks just by taking 10 minutes out of your day, closing your eyes, and sitting still, would you do it? Here’s the caveat – you can’t miss a day.
The Objective of Meditation
There is a widely held belief that in order to be successful at meditation, you must “think of nothing.” To be frank, you’ll have a much easier time reaching this objective by banging a cooking pot over your head.
It’s an impossible pursuit. When you try to think of nothing, you are still thinking… of not thinking. Do not worry, in fact thinking is good – it means you’re alive and well!
The brain is hardwired to chatter and converse with itself. It never shuts up. So what advantage is there to suppressing this natural behaviour?
“Let go, or be dragged” – Zen Proverb
Meditation is not about the absence of thought; it is the observance of it. This takes a lot of pressure off you to perform. Just sit back, and enjoy the movie.
If you are angry, let yourself be angry. You’re happy? Smile. The idea is to let your thoughts pass through you – do not dwell on the past or cling to the future.
Meditation is a flowing experience of non-attachment. It’s a powerful feeling when you know that you can accept your thoughts in a non-reactive manner.
Non-Attachment
“Non-attachment is not the elimination of desire. It is the spaciousness to allow any quality of mind, any thought or feeling, to arise without closing around it, without eliminating the pure witness of being. It is an active receptivity to life.” – Stephen Levine
The more you cling to a desired outcome, both in meditation and in life, the further you will sway from that outcome. You will always lose when you chase what you lack.
If you want to succeed in meditation, pay very close attention to what I’m about to say:
Practice meditation every day to the best of your ability, and accept whatever result you get.
I can’t emphasize this enough. It’s that simple. If you are truly seeking peace of mind and are desperate for an outlet, please give meditation a chance.
Take on a beginner’s mindset, and keep an open mind. I am telling you: if you simply practice for 10 minutes a day, for 21 consecutive days, you will learn how to meditate. Money-back guarantee. But if you do miss a day, you must restart.
When you discontinue meditation and tell yourself, “It’s too hard,” or, “I’m bored,” you are attaching yourself to an outcome, and further reinforcing exactly what it is you want to escape: anxiety, fear, and insecurity.
Do not give in to these urges.
A Metaphor For Life
The beauty of meditation is in its mirror reflection of life. As you practice more and more, you will come to realize that the quality of your meditation is a near perfect reflection to the quality of your life.
When you feel blocked, there is likely an area in your environment that is not aligned with your values. And when you are at peace, your meditation will follow suit.
The deeper meaning behind this suggests that if you want to feel better about yourself, you need not seek it in the external environment. By learning how to meditate, you can feel good simply by choosing to do so.
“What surrounds us is within us” – T.F. Hodge
Should you choose to improve the quality of your meditation, you will feel naturally compelled to improve the quality of your life. This is not some mystical voodoo shenanigans – this is how the subconscious operates.
When you feel good about yourself, you are going to subconsciously seek those bold and audacious opportunities that you were previously blind to. You will feel worthy of them, and they will come to you like a magnet.
Moreover, overcoming the obstacles of learning meditation will give you the strength to deal with the ensuing challenges of life. Because when you can become familiar with yourself, no amount of discomfort can push you off your center.
Conclusion
We know that meditation is good for us. We know that if we were to give it an honest chance, we would improve the quality of our life in some respect. The problem is that most people do not think it is something worth learning.
The learning gap of meditation is not so much defined by the inability to practice, but rather the unwillingness to do so.
It’s not pleasant when you first start, and most people don’t make it through the first day. If you are expecting some magical experience with the divine, you will be disappointed.
The real magic of meditation is created when you are able to push through those barriers of discomfort.
It’s the delayed gratification that makes meditation so worthwhile. That first experience when you finally “get it” – when you can finally feel the endorphins pulsing through your veins and caressing up your spine – makes up for all the obstacles you were dealt with before. It’s a powerful feeling.
If you are desperate to make a change in your life, whether it concerns your mental health, interpersonal relationships, or life-long mission, you have nothing to lose trying meditation.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” – Wayne Dyer
It is your birthright to be happy. Give meditation a proper chance, and you will have no one but yourself to thank for trying to become a better person.